Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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