so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
