Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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