I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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