What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
