so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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