i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Of course I have a pirate flag
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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