turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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