i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
