She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
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She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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