I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
