I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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