i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
