Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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