Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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