i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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