There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
