After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i dont even know how to be here
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
