Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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