I want to stick my p in your. b.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
