So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
