Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
