I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
