so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
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So many bounce houses so little time
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
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Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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