Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
