I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
