Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
