How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
