it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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