STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
