Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm sobbing to NWA
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
