Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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