I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
