At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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