i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
