Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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