I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
