sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
