What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
