dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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