I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
