yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts