I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw