SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart