no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you