this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
