Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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