K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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