one two three fourrrrnication!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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