WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize