I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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