Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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