i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
