I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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