i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ladies don't puke and tell
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
