so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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