whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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