what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
