what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
