Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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