How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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