I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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