i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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