We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
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You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
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he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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