Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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