So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
