: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
